Monday, September 20, 2010
All my hopes, passions and ambitions have died out and now it's too late.
All I've ever wanted to do and be are all gone. Dancer, singer, skateboarder, writer, hockey player, musician, some things I am but it's just not something I can pursue. I'm too far gone, stuck in a rut, but I've worked too hard to throw it all away. I'm that kind of girl you all know, the one that is an over achiever, I have a way with numbers, words, science, languages, but they're not my passions, working this hard. I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up, I don't even know who I am now and I'm so worried about the future. I'm really scared about not being happy and successful, but what if I come back to the reunion, and I'm rich and successful. But I'm not happy. This was never how far I wanted to go, what I wanted to do, it's just too deep. But now it's too late to turn around, I've worked too hard to throw it all away and now I have to deal with it. All my ambitions, things I've always wanted to do, are now out the window. I am too far in to get out now. I never even got to try some of them, my passions, and see how far I could go. I'm gonna grow up and be good, but will I be happy? No, I don't think so.