First of all, I recommend listening to the audiobook video below the short story while reading because some songs may be unknown to you but the dialogue is also confusing if you only listen to the audiobook, and also I am very very very sorry if my singing is horrible or the song isn't accurate, but it is there so that you know what the songs sound like. And also, it feels incredibly weird reading with my own name. Another thing, originally I was going to also post a commentary/audiobook thingy but the video was too long. So yeah, hope you think it's funny or entertaining and please read the author's notes too. (:
A Wacky Adventure Musical
Dedicated to Hannah on her 15th Birthday
Here we go:
”SHH.” Hannah whispered, holding her hand over Amy’s mouth.
“But there are bugs in my hair!” Amy exclaimed, after pulling Hannah’s hand off her face.
“Get over it, they’re just bugs, we have been through worse, just believe in yourself, CUZ BABY YOU’RE A FIREWORK, COME ON LET YOUR COLOURS BURST!1”
“I know you’re the smart, rational one of us, but I really don’t think this is the time to sing. There are Persian warriors chasing us!”
“But think about it Amy, I WANNA LIVE A LIFE FROM A NEW PERSPECTIVE2, we might not even make it in time for Christmas, the best time of the year, here we are trying to save the totem pole of Peru with the Mighty Warriors of the Persian King Darius chasing us, why are the greater beings (equivalent to God) not letting us finish this mission, WILL NEXT YEAR BE DIFFERENT, I’M GONNA WAIT 365 DAYS, OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH, OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH... WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID, I TAKE IT ALL BACK, COULD YOU FORGIVE THE WAY I AM, IT TOOK TIME BUT NOW IM LONELY ... I’M GONNA WAIT THIS WHOLE YEAR, OOOOOOOHHHHH, TILL NEXT CHRISMAS EVE3, we will never make Christmas. L”
“Okay screw it, if that’s the only way to get a message to you. YOU CAN NEVER SAY NEVER WHILE WE DON’T KNOW YET, TIME AND TIME AGAIN4! We’re just getting closer Hannah, we can definitely make it, there’s no point turning back now because there is a 100% death rate and WOAH WE’RE HALFWAY THERE, OHHHHHHH, WE’RE LIVIN’ ON A PRAYER, TAKE MY HAND, WE’LL MAKE IT I SWEAR, WOAH, LIVIN’ ON A PRAYER5!”
With both their spirits now high, not from illicit drugs, but from the healthy drug of song, Hannah and Amy dashed through the tunnels of the Sacred Temple of Monkeys in Sun City, South Africa, with the super tall Peruvian totem pole in their hands, they navigated easily with the continuous help of song.
“WE’RE BREAKING FREE, WE’RE SOARING, FLYING, DASHING THROUGH THE TUNNELS OF SUUUUUUUN CITY, CUZ WE’RE TRYING, YEAH WE’RE BREAKING FREE, FROM THE PERSIANS, WOAH6!”
The pair burst out into a huge crowd of Asian tourists in Sun City, already posing as two best friends from Japan, they fit right in, except they weren’t very good at the language and had already had their cover blown when being interrogated by King Darius’s son, Prince of Persia, Jake Gyllenhaal. While they were being interrogated, Amy and Prince Jake fell in love, but it was soon ended when Prince Jake found out that Joseph Gordon Levitt of the Inception crew, was actually pretending to be Prince Jake’s friend, but was really Amy and Hannah’s partner along with Alex Goot. Prince Jake and Amy, still madly in love with each other had to be brought to their senses, so during inception, Prince Jake was sent into limbo and Joseph saved Amy and returned her to reality. Alex and Joseph saved Amy and Hannah from their captors, but were tragically distracted by their instruments (yes, Joseph Gordon Levitt also plays the guitar) while the team passed through America, and so Amy and Hannah were on their own.
Anyway, back to the story. With Amy and Hannah having escaped (Did you see the ablative absolute? ;D), the pair, trying to blend in were talking quite loudly, like the tourists.
“Sou des ne.” Hannah said.
“Si, mi amigo Dora.” Amy replied.
“Dude, that’s not Japanese.”
“Woops, ni hao!”
“That’s Chinese, doofus!”
“Oh wait, I think I’ve got it, sensei sayonara!”
“Yes, finally. I think we’ve lost them.”
“Cool, now I know a place to hide the totem pole.”
Amy and Hannah fled the group to the Sacred Waterfall of Sacredness.
“Okay, we’re going to have to hide the totem pole behind the waterfall, no one will be able to get behind there except for us, the brilliant explorers who taught Spongebob, Blues Clues and Dora.” Amy continued.
“Good idea, but what if we die?”
“It’s okay, Sam Tsui will lead the way, IF I DIE YOUNG, BURY ME IN SATIN, LAY ME DOWN ON A BED OF ROSES, SINK ME IN THE RIVER AT DAWN, SEND ME AWAY WITH THE WORDS OF LOVE SONG, THE SHARP KNIFE OF A SHORT LIFE, WELL, I’VE HAD JUST ENOUGH TIME7. And all heroes and important people live short lives. Heracles, Achilles, Julius Caesar.”
“But they died tragically, and during their time, the average life span was around 30.”
“Well, I’m sure there are better examples. Anyway, in the words of Nike and Adidas, impossible is nothing, just do it.”
Amy and Hannah flew into the waterfall with the wings that Leonardo da Vinci sent to them, via Leonardo DiCaprio who was also in the Inception team. They placed the magnificent totem pole behind the waterfall, and then jumped out into the waters and swam to the river bank. They floated peacefully through the river until they made it to the Sacred Waves Pool.
While checking into Sun City’s Sacred Entertainment hotel with added secrecy for spies, they did some investigating and discovered that all the Persian Warriors never checked into their rooms. Later in the day, they both ‘coincidentally’ bumped into Alex Goot, who declared that he was able to gas all the warriors with some secret help while they were near the end of the tunnel and then dumped their bodies for the hippos and the lions that were in the Secular (opposite of sacred) Animal Pen outside of Sun City. Alex and Hannah hugged happily. Amy, watched smiling, glad that two of her friends were together again although she never really got over Prince Jake, and missed him dearly.
“Where’s Joseph?” Amy asked.
“I’m sorry, but in America, he got caught up and now he is with Ariadne. I’m sorry.” Alex replied, with a sad face.
“That’s alright, they were probably just meant to be and I was just wondering anyway. Truth is, I really miss Prince Jake though, I wish he didn’t have to go to limbo.”
“I’m sorry about that too, but you never know, things could change.”
“Yeah, he could totally get out of limbo.” Amy said sarcastically. “And why would he? There he can see all the children’s faces.”
“Sorry, I never understood the concept of inception, I was just the one who made music and then put it on the team’s ears when it was time to end the dream, I just gave the kick.”
“That’s okay. He wouldn’t come back anyway, not for me, I’m probably not pretty enough for anyone, not even Joseph.”
“Come on Amy” Hannah added, with Alex. “WHEN I SEE YOUR FACE, THERE’S NOT A THING THAT I WOULD CHANGE, CUZ GIRL YOU’RE AMAZING, JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. AND WHEN YOU SMILE, THE WHOLE WORLD STOPS AND STARES FOR A WHILE, CUZ GIRL YOU’RE AMAZING, JUST THE WAY YOU ARE8!”
“Aww, thanks guys, that means a lot.”
“Now let’s go see a show!” Hannah suggested.
“Yeah!” Amy and Alex shouted.
The trio went to see a small show, where they could lay low, just in case Alex and his mysterious friend forgot to gas one guy or something. There were a couple of performers who were all fantastic, but the last performer was a huge surprise.
“And the last performer for tonight, who is performing Grenade, is the Prince of Persia, Mr Jake Gyllenhaal!!” The announcer announced.
“Oh my gosh, how?” Amy said, with her mouth gaping open.
Prince Jake walked onto the stage and started talking first. “Amy, I know what you’re thinking, I can see it in your face, but I will perform first and explain later. I’D CATCH A GRENADE FOR YOU, YEAH YEAH, THROW MY HAND ON A BLADE FOR YOU, YEAH YEAH, I’D JUMP IN FRONT OF A TRAIN FOR YOU, YEAH YEAH, YOU KNOW I’D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU, YEAH YEAH, OHHH, I WOULD GO THROUGH ALL THIS PAIN, TAKE A BULLET STRAIGHT THROUGH MY BRAIN, YES I WOULD DIE FOR YOU BABY, WOULD YOU DO THE SAME? FOOORRRR MEEEE9. Okay Amy, I’m sooooooo sorry, Leonardo DiCaprio saved me from limbo, he brought me back a phase and then killed me so I was brought back to reality. I also helped Alex kill the Persians. I know I am a Persian, but I discovered my father lied to me, Joseph and Alex were really my friends, and they had met me before they found out who I really was, and they never manipulated me or anything, it was all my father’s fault. I love you Amy, and I would really do anything for you, because we are meant to be together (I know it’s corny, haha).”
Amy ran on stage and kissed Prince Jake. “My gosh Prince Jake, I would do anything for you too.”
-Some of the lyrics of the songs were altered to make sense with the event
-The songs are in capital letters with the exception of the first two lines of the story
-This story was not written with excellent structure and may be quite wacky and not understandable on some occasions.
-Sorry if the spellings of some words in other languages are wrong.
-The names of each song are stated below:
- Firework – Katy Perry
- New Perspective – Panic! At the Disco
- Next Christmas Eve – Alex Goot
- Never Say Never – The Fray
- Livin’ on a Prayer – Bon Jovi
- Breaking Free – Cast of High School Musical
- If I Die Young (Cover) – Sam Tsui
- Just The Way You Are – Bruno Mars
- Grenade – Bruno Mars