Dating Dynamics: Tinder dun dun dun

It's judgement and thought provoking day on Unspent Thoughts.

I know this is a controversial subject but hear me out, okay?

Now I am no way an experienced person when it comes to the dating world, but I would like to call myself an experienced observer. Obviously I am a conceited person.

Dating or finding a 'significant other' is already hard enough in our day and age. With all this technology, we know everyone but we don't really know anyone.

Tinder. What a controversial topic. Teenagers love it. It's fun and no one really takes it seriously. It is said that it can't be labelled as a dating app, more as just a good time and harmless entertainment. Old school baby boomers who actually know what it is, criticise it for skipping traditional dating rules and missing out on the wondrous aspects of dating.

Me? I understand where both sides are coming from.
But I personally cannot be the one to support this.

If you don't know what Tinder is, don't worry. I didn't initially. It's basically a 'dating' app that let's you look through a couple of pictures and a small bio of the people near you. It then let's you like or swipe away those you find desirable or not. And when people mutually like each other, bam! You've got a match. Most people just chat for fun, others hook up and the unfortunate sentimental ones, try to take it seriously. But with everyone saying "Don't worry, I won't tell people how we met.", is this the best method for dating?

I have many friends who take to Tinder for fun and I get that. It's harmless, a little flirty and no one takes it seriously.

But there is something in this culture that I can't bring myself to just 'touch' the install button in the App Store, no matter how fun it is.

At first I didn't really know why I felt this way. My friends told me to get it, but there was some instinctual feeling that told me not to. I just didn't feel comfortable with it. At the time I just made the excuse that I was too lazy to create a profile. The online predator excuse doesn't work as effectively now because apparently people have forgotten about online dangers.

Now don't yell at me, I'm not saying everyone out there is a creep but I'm just saying you should still be cautious online because everything is being exposed to such a big audience.

But now, I've figured out why it bugs me so much. It's how much Tinder has changed dating dynamics or preferences. I say preferences because close minded Tinder lovers will preach over and over that no one uses it for dating anyway. However, this escalated use of Tinder has warped how we perceive people and 'partner prospects' in real life.

I had always thought, or at least hoped, that it would come down to the personality. And I'm not saying there is a universal perfect personality. I actually mean, the chemistry. I'm not gonna doubt it, looks do matter. But in the long run, it's how happy a person makes you and how you become your best self with that person, that truly decides whether you choose to stay with them or not. While looks play a part, most people try to give everyone a chance. At least get to know them as friends. And then you can decide based on the full package and not just what's on the outside.

At least, that what's my idealist side wants to be real.
On some level, I don't think that ever happened, but on another level, I always hoped that it will or at least, I would meet someone who shared these values.

With that acknowledgement, I've still noticed that the standings have shifted in recent times. You can meet someone who in your eyes is awesome, they share similar values or interests and you have a fun time with them, but you still choose the one that is 'hotter'. I'm not saying the 'hotter' person can't also be the better person. But when you choose someone you barely know, and in your opinion has no substance, and still hookup with them, despite having someone right in front of you who is your perception of the most amazing person in the world, now there's something wrong with that.

I'm not talking about looking at the people you've friend zoned, because anyone can do that rightfully. Often there are great people out there who simply aren't right for you or you just don't 'click' with.

We look for 'love' in the wrong places. Maybe if we take a step back and consider our other 'options' meaningfully, we would find someone truly worthwhile.

Growing Up & Society RANT

First I'd like to warn and introduce you to my new blog, it is the same blog but reincarnated. I'm not deleting any of my old stuff because I'm trying to start this new thing with no regrets, and not some crappy hipster stuff about living it young and going crazy, but taking everything as it is and learning from the mistakes and just move on. I'm not very good at this yet but I'm growing

Also, in this new rebirth of my blog, you will encounter crazy ramblings that don't make sense, no bother of proof reading, and no structure. And me contradicting myself all the time and putting out very hypocritical points because no one is ever who they say they are, and no one can 100% stick to their morals. Oh yeah, and some casual deep philosophical quotes dropped around casually. 

But this is my mind, unspent, never enough, but I'm trying to unleash some of the absurdity here, so I have room for more. (:

I feel that as I grow up, I loose part of my innocence, but I mainly lose my obedience of this fake act that is society. I still see the beauty in things, but I understand more how many lies are let loose in this world (thank-you Camus), and we can't stop them, even I can't. But at least I realise this.

Maybe 5 years ago, or 2 years or even 4 months ago, I was a major player in this society that is a lie, and honestly, everyone is. And because not many people realise this, we are all stubborn and juvenile.

I feel that as I'm growing up, my view of the world broadens, it hasn't necessary become free of innocence, but I have a greater understanding of how everyone works, and I'm eager for my thoughts to run free as I grow older and become more insightful with everything.

I'm not saying that what I'm saying is right, no way, and I'm sure if you don't understand you'd probably take a stab at everything I stand for, but who am I to judge? Who am I to tell you what to do? You can do what you want, but I will deal with it and continue to stand for what I believe in.

How did this turn into a rant? I don't understand my self sometimes, but no matter how absurd my thoughts are, they are still clear as crystal to me.

Another idea I want to touch base on, hipsters.

You will most likely understand what I'm on about if you use tumblr, you know that magical website where everyone posts pictures of things they like, I know it sounds completely boring and pointless, but honestly, I love it. It's so stupid, but it gives us another outlet, and sometimes I do find truly inspiring images, outside of all the hipster crap with skinny girls in exposing clothes and pouts.

Okay, so hipsters are defined as 'cool', and also apparently all the Australian tumblrs are hipster? WRONG!, judgemental people who jump to conclusions (notice that I actually just judged). I often feel that everything that is 'cool' is just fuel to the fire that is this society. Sometimes I wonder, how was it that 6 years ago, music that was 'cool' was pop music and now what's 'cool' is this strange techno noise?

You know what the common denominator is? They both usually have some sort of catchy tune that hypnotises people who don't have the ability to really choose for themselves, no matter how old you are, how much experience in life you have, we are all continuously bombarded with influences which often catch on and they're we're stuck, and we have no idea how.

All these companies that are liars and then create lies to get some cha-ching to help their consumerism lives (thank-you Arthur Miller) but there's nothing that we can do about it. And honestly, I often fall into the trap, yet I have found ways to actually be happy, but not all the time, although all I look for is balance.




P.S. I don't make any sense but deal with it (my silent anger)